Hello

I've been neglecting this blog. Purposefully and unintentionally at the same time. So many things have been going on in life that come the end of the night I just want to hit the sack rather than blog.

Over the past month at work I've been pouring over other blogs regarding fashion, photography, food, vintage, and bohemian lifestyles. All are what I love in life and they have inspired me beyond anything else that has this year so far.

I've decided to go on a new direction with this blog.

Start over fresh.

Reading over past entries I see a person who I am not, and one who I dislike.

2010 has been one of the most challenging and hardest years that I can remember ever experiencing.

It has felt downhill since December 31st 2009 up until maybe about a week ago or so.

Actually, I don't even know if I can say that.

All I know is that yesterday, and today have felt like the first two days of a new life.

Cheesy and cliche, yes, I know, but this is really what it feels like.

In January I lost myself.

In February my soul died.

In April I experienced a life changing event, even if it was only temporarily, but a life changing event can cause you to lose yourself even further than how much you've already lost.

Yesterday I felt alive and repaired, a clean slate and a new life.

Many positive things have occurred also during this year, and some were results from the negative parts I experienced.

All I can say is now I know where I'm going. Who I am, who I'm going to be, and who I will not be, and who I will not surround myself with.

I've learned that cutting ties is the best thing one can do for oneself. Otherwise staying connected will hurt even more.

My heart has ached more giving and giving and barely being acknowledged.

I've learned that sometimes silence is the mend to all things.

Distance keeps me sane, let's me be who I really am.

This blog will now be about my goals, aspirations, artwork, fashion, knowledge gained, and second-hand thrift finds.

So I'll just start! As I've been very eager to start this, but also procrastinating. Here are some current goals:

*buy a sewing machine*

*order Polaroid film and start using those cameras*

*start a raised boxed garden on my patio (or at least an herb garden if there's not enough space)*

*lose those 15 lbs - I'm not setting a date because that will only cause stress. Just making it a daily work in progress.*

*begin my mini raw dessert company!*

*find a second part-time weekend-only job (one that I truly enjoy and WANT to do)*

*buy a bike for commuting*

*shop at the farmer's market as much as possible*

*reduce my grocery and food intake (save some muu-lah!)*

*find an easel*

*finish painting wooden rocking chair and sell it*

*find frames for fashion photos*

*find a good quality photo and negative film scanner*

*blog more regularly (wink)*

*surround myself with positive people and energy, eliminate those who are negative*

*use my yoga certificate*

*swim laps daily, even if that's all I do for exercise that day*

*read more often*

*make that trip to Jerome for my tattoo*

*right tragus piercing*

*apply to CCA*

*move out of state*

*be more responsible - but continue taking life not so seriously*

*stay focused on school this semester*

*take more weekend trips*

Ok, so I know that's a pretty long goal list so far, and some of those wont happen realistically until some time has passed and other goals are accomplished beforehand, but this is my motivation!

I just love freshly washed and styled hair. Feels so silky running through finga's...

Except that's not today because I went to swim laps at the pool last night and was home around 12:40am and decided to eat some watermelon rather than shower and then crashed out.

I really meant to wash it this morning, I swear, but I was so exhausted I woke up 45 minutes before I had to run out the door that I threw it up in a messy curly bun.

It's ok though, I'm doing more laps tonight.