Went hiking with my Italian yesterday. However I was being grouchy and moody, everything seemed to irritate me before and after the hike. I would like to call it post-period depression. I never pms before or during my period, but at least once a month I have this really unusually off day where I am feeling so unhappy and want to quite everything I'm involved in. However you force on through what needs to get done that day, resulting in me feeling happy by the time the day is done.

image from the collection of National Galleries of Scotland

Anyways, on our descent down from the mountain i pass this beautiful couple, the man extending his hand to help the lady, who is pregnant, a good 5-6 months it looks, as she slowly descends the mountain as well. She was gorgeous, glowing, and looking ever so beautiful with a swollen belly. I couldn't help resisting and told her so. Her thank you was so happy. Every time I see pregnant bellies on woman who are at an appropriate age for pregnancy (not a teen-mama supporter), I immediately begin to think of my future pregnancies. Most times it results in feelings of wanting to live in that moment now, in this present. I am so excited for the day when I will have a protruding belly. I know it's not at all as glamorous and sometimes the media, or magazines make it out to be, but I think it is still glamorous in it's own rights of creating a human life with someone you love. To seal a little bit of me, and a little bit of You into one egg and experience it grow, to me seems to be an experience I would have a loss of words for. Not even You will know the deepest secrets only I will experience in my pregnancies. The waking moments of realism as a creation is weaved inside me. Lately I find myself day dreaming of part-Italian children. I think they would look beautiful. How I wish that someday I will have your Italian children. How I wish to tell you this.

Today I dashed home during my lunch to create a soup:

• rice noodles (pad Thai size), about 1/2 cup vegetable broth, 1 cup mushroom broth, then water to the brim, some carrots, shitake mushrooms, sweet onion, cilantro, collard greens, and pepper, dash of Himalayan salt, and some oregano.

Delicious but bland I say. I will still eat bland, food is more about eating a variety of proper nutrients to me rather than eat to enjoy amazing tastes, although that would be a perk + to healthy foods. By the end of my second bowl, I was starting to scoop up broth in my spoon when I don't know how, but the entire bowl tipped over and landed on my dress and leggings. Luckily the leggings absorbed most of the spill, but how sad! I am so clumsy, I don't know how I do it, but it is quite an embarrassment to be seen spilling things all the time.