11.17.2010

How To Be Alone

Brian from the Silversun Pickups turned me on to this.

11.16.2010

I hit the market after work and was shopping in the tea aisle when a very hot employee of the store asked if I needed help.
Just browsing..
He then wanted to pursue conversation and asked what kind of tea I drink.
I mentioned I wanted to change up the style since I've been bored of my jasmine green, and then he went into a 15 minute description of a home brew he grew up with.
Cinnamon black tea spiked with honey.
Sounds delicious, I must try.
He showed me where the cinnamon sticks were located and told me to tell him next time how it tastes.
We said bye with a high-five.

Excitement in the Air with New Beginnings Trailing Behind!

Sunday evening was a very good evening.
One that caught me completely off guard and by surprise.
Yet I felt I was in the most natural state of my being.
Something that has been missing for a long time now.
And it was very inviting, and exciting!
~
I have decided to open up a little shop on Etsy.com to start selling my artwork and home decor designs, along with vintage clothing and accessories here and there.
I'm very excited and hope to have it take off soon!
Ciao!

11.11.2010

I would like a cat to name it Yoko.
~
The other day I woke up so late for work there was no time to shower so I went to work unshowered and felt like a sad dirty girl all day.

11.04.2010

Goal Updates

 
  • finish burning all my cd's into my iTunes and file them away in my new cd mass-case  
  • photograph for my portfolio started! just need some more images :)
  • submit my application to the California College of Arts, The Art Institute of Chicago, and The Academy of Art University by January (including my portfolio)
  • finish painting and sanding my wooden rocking chair
  • finish decorating the walls of my room
  • finish all hand-washing laundry
  • begin re-designing the living room design layout accomplished! now to re-arrange!
  • begin spray painting the coffee table that will be moved out to the patio. Add a tile mosaic surface after painting.
  • build resume
  • finish reading The Town and The City by Jack Kerouac
  • Finish reading STIFF: the curious lives of human cadavers by Mary Roach
  • get past the introduction of and finish reading Moments of Being by Virginia Woolf
  • go to Jerome to visit Cody to discuss my tattoo
  • get my right tragus pierced
  • buy Nike Free's and start trail running
  • sign up for the PF Chang's Rock n' Roll 1/2 Marathon in January
  • order polaroid film
  • photograph and sell my vintage TOD's purse on Ebay
  • buy a bike light
  • take out roomie's sewing machine and start a new project.
  • put together a drawing folder
  • organize photo folders 1/2 way done!
  • gather You reminders to ship off to photographer
  • buy my Built to Spill, Pepper, & Godsmack ticket! Decided not to buy the Built to Spill or Godsmack shows due to classes & monies.
  • buy English textbook

11.02.2010

feeling unfulfilled

Lately I feel really unfulfilled.
Although I feel I am finally accomplishing things/tasks I've been meaning to accomplish for a long time now, there is still an empty space in me.
Seeing photos of an old friend who I used to be best friends with for three years but then she decided she no longer wanted to be friends was heartbreaking.
To this day I still don't understand why she no longer wanted to be friends.
Not knowing why has left a questionable mark on who I am as a person - even though this was years ago.
-
Am I a selfish person?
Do I not give enough of myself to others?
Is it wrong to want time for myself, to be alone, to work on things I enjoy rather than have to give every single day to someone else?
Is this why I can't find my other half?
Have I been unknowingly selfish all my life to pursue my interests after so long of putting them off for others?
-
All I want to do is run and Run and RUN.
Running has been so calming for me.
I did 14 miles over the weekend - 4 fri, 5 sat, 5 sun.
Sunday really should have been a cross-train day but I didn't run Thurs to rest my achy leg.
My body is finally enjoying all this running, even though sometimes I hurt like hell afterwards, the freedom to run is magnificent!
I enjoy more running among the line of waiting cars backed up in traffic with the people cheering me on.
It really helps me to keep pushing along.
-
Am I sabotaging myself not allowing someone to get close to my heart?
Those who I do consider allowing are only liars, or not genuinely interested.
That's why it feels better to be alone.
-
I finally gathered all Your stuff this weekend and off I will ship it to the Photographer for his project.
-
I'm overwhelmed. I feel I don't have enough time in my day for everything that must get done.
I wish I could skip sleep for like 4 days in a row and still function normally.
I'm juggling full-time work, marathon training, raw eating (which requires meal prep everyday), my campus classes (drawing and photography), my online class, my case, keeping up maintenance on my relationships.
Can personal-self life be even considered in this category?
I hate feeling like a bad friend, a bad student, a bad daughter, a bad employee.
I think my training and healthy eating is the only things working at keeping depression at bay for the moment.
-
I wish I could be so much more than what I am now.